The long goodbye
by Pickl3lily
Summary: There is no doubt that Derek and Stiles have shared many experiences. It only makes sense that he say goodbye. In light of Hoechlin stepping down for season 5, I thought about how he might leave things with Stiles. Friendship, but with some sterek elements if you choose to look for them. R&R Also on my AO3 account.


"I can't believe you! I can't believe you would do this; you would just leave? No, really, how did you think this would go? Let me guess, 'hey Stiles, I know I made you a promise after the whole nogitsune thing about staying with you and helping you get over the trauma of being used to kill people I cared about because I know how you feel, but I really can't be bothered anymore see ya!' Sound about right Derek?"

_This was beyond douchebaggery! Stiles could barely hold back the tears at the thought of Derek leaving, for good this time. It wasn't like they were the closest of friends but after everything, Derek had been the one Stiles could relate to. Derek was the one he'd had weird-ass dreams about, dreams of conversations in the locker room, that made him feel like he was helping Derek the way Derek had helped him for the week right after…_

"No"

_And goodbye sadness, hello anger. _

"Seriously? Everything we've been through and that's all I get? One monosyllabic, pissy word?! 'No'. SERIOUSLY! You are a great big bag of dicks!"

_A quirked eyebrow in response. A head tilt. A slight smirk rising beneath the scruff that still had dirt in it from their latest scuffle with the supernatural. _

"Are you quoting - - -"

"No! Shut up! You don't get to call me out on my not so subtle referencing to you being the devil! You promised me Derek; you said you'd be there but then you ran off to Mexico – "

"You mean when I was KIDNAPPED and TORTURED by -"

"SHUT UP! You left me! I had to turn to Malia because hey, she at least knows what its like to cause the death of your loved ones, but now we're in a freakish relationship where I get the living crap scratched out of me and now I'm so dependent on her that I can't stand the idea of being alone so I put up with her stupid crap because you left me!"

_Okay. Derek kind of had a point; he hadn't chosen to go to Mexico and get all de-aged and stuff, but still! Stiles was in this relationship because of Derek; he should have left it ended when Malia had discovered her name, her true identity, but months of recovering with one person, becoming their anchor, it left a lot of co-dependency issues. Maybe in time, their relationship would become a healthy one, evolve._

_Derek looked pained, that same look that Stiles had only seen a few times, the times Derek had felt guilty. Like with Erica. Boyd. Cora. Allison. Aiden. His shoulder slumped, obviously preparing to make a last-ditch effort to convince Stiles to say his goodbyes and stop making a fuss; if this failed, Stiles could tell that he'd stay. Not because he wanted to, but because he'd feel obligated. Stiles felt his heart sink; could he really do this to the man he'd come to care for as one of his closest friends? Make him stay and be miserable?_

"Stiles. I know I made that promise. I meant to honour it, but as previously explained, I was kidnapped and kind of incapable of doing so. By the time I was back, it didn't seem like you needed me so I'm sorry, OK? Truly. But, please understand that, since my family, since Paige, this town has been nothing but pain and loss for me, I just need to get away; I need to find out who I am when I'm not fighting for my life, or watching someone I care about lose theirs. I know you think I'm being selfish but please, don't you think I deserve to be? Just for a while?"

_No. Stiles couldn't make him stay. Even if he thought Derek wouldn't be miserable, he understood how selfish he was being. Derek wasn't. Derek thought himself to be selfish, but he wasn't; he was being human. Getting away from the place where nothing good ever happened to him. Stiles knew. He knew he had to let Derek go, but he couldn't be seen to just accept it. Desperately, he wracked his brain for some kind of argument, something that wouldn't force Derek to stay, something that would simply allow him to continue the argumentative conversation that they engaged in best. There had been too much seriousness. His mind reached out numbly, and in a feeble, defeated tone he deigned to ask Derek the question that he really wanted to ask. _

"But… Who will I irritate and have a quid pro quo life-saving relationship with?"

"Stiles. You have a whole pack to save and be saved by. And don't sell yourself short, you need to start believing in yourself like I do."

_Stiles was shocked with the answer. Not the part about the pack, although he felt like scoffing at that. Had Derek really forgotten the pool incident? They both almost died because of Scott's tunnel vision when it comes to girls. No. That would still be a concern for him. But, was Derek really serious? _

"You believe in me?!"

"Of course. I believe you have the ability to irritate the hell out of anyone, effortlessly."

_Of course not. Days like his, he really wished he had supernatural strength so he could hit Derek when he was being a jerk and, you know, not break his hand doing it. _

"Your such a dick."

"I thought I was a sourwolf?"

_Back when they hated him. Before they knew about Peter. When Stiles was all buzz cuts and flailing limbs, before he was, well, longer, more styled hair and flailing limbs. When everything had seemed so terrifying, so life threatening. The days that now seemed like a fairy tale. A villain to conquer, a forbidden love, an unexpected ally, a valiantly plucky and somewhat charmingly witty and handsome sidekick. It was so long ago, Stiles barely remembered it, Surprised that Derek had._

"Dude, I called you that like one time. Besides, I gave that nickname to a shady-ass werewolf who I hated and trusted less than I trust my dad to make himself a salad. You're different now."

"You think so?"

"I know so. You've evolved."

_Mexico. A place that Stiles had wanted to visit, that seemed so full of beauty and wonder just a few months ago, now was a place that haunted his dreams. A place he wished that none of them had had the misfortune of visiting. The place he thought his pack had lost another member, a place where they almost lost three. _

"Dick."

"Ass… Hey Derek…"

"No."

"What? You don't know what I was gonna say!"

"You were going to ruin our goodbye by making a horrible joke using an innuendo about how if you're a dick, and I'm an ass, you should be in me, or whatever."

_A slow grin spreading across his face, making him feel like the joker. Well, well. Who knew Derek Hale could be so crude. This would be fun. _

"Actually, I was gonna ask about using the loft to study while you're away and it's empty, but nice to know where you mind goes. Tell me, where you thinking top or bottom?"

_It all seemed to flood back as Stiles narrowly dodged a cuff to the back of his head. Feigned shock and outrage on Stiles' part. Verbal barbs were exchanged as Derek began to gather his things; Stiles, unbidden, helped. Grabbed the last few bags containing Derek's sparse belongings, and started across the room. They began to leave the loft side by side, still arguing. Unwittingly mirroring the last time Derek had left. When he and Cora thought they could get a fresh start, the last time he left and thought it would be for good. This time, it would be. He wouldn't say that he would never return to Beacon Hills, but he knew he would never live there again. A quick glance at the flailing boy next to him, a small smile. Maybe he would come back. Make sure Scott hadn't gotten caught up in another relationship and left Stiles to meet a terrible fate. Stiles jabbed the ribs of the werewolf next to him, insuring he was being listen to while he began to go onto one his trademark tangents. The smile got broader. _


End file.
